When life feels pointless, read this

The best days are coming, if you can believe it

Disclaimer: This article is produced for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for the help of a licensed mental health professional or therapist.

If you, or anyone you know, is struggling, seek help immediately from the Samaritans or local emergency services.

It wasn’t open.

I’d been looking forward to it for months.

And it wasn’t open.

“It’s okay,” a friend said. “Guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”

She’d meant it as a throwaway comment.

But as we parted ways, and I was still a little bitter about not getting to grab the mic and sing karaoke till my throat gave out, her sentiment followed me all the way to the Tube.

Why was I so bothered? So upset?

And then, another familiar voice:

Why did I always need to show off?

In time I forgot about the incident.

Until I found myself singing along at my desk one day when Working From Home.

I unexpectedly hit the high note.

And I felt that most elusive of emotions that’s evaded me for several, doomscrolling months.

Joy.

Why life can feel pointless sometimes

We’re busy.

When you tott up the amount of time we actually spend moving towards the things that change our lives for the better, it’s vanishingly small.

The only thing sometimes that makes the experience bearable is a little distraction.

A moment, here or there, that becomes an hour, that becomes an evening.

Another one. Another one.

You’re feeling lost in your own home.

Lost in the rest that doesn’t make you better.

Until a lifetime consists of weeks on weeks of this behaviour.

Not because we don’t care about ourselves, that we don’t think we deserve better (and I assure you, we all do).

But because there’s a weird relationship between ease and value.

And unfortunately, it’s all too easy to get the balance wrong.

I say this, as always, because I’ve been there.

Ration your fear

In tune but bad music

I was a bit of a creative mess when I was a kid.

I’d had so many different ambitions that it was difficult for me to keep track, let alone anyone else.

This led to me picking up a lot of things a bit, before dropping them.

Some things I’d stick with a lot longer.

For a while, I really wanted to be a rock star.

And yet, I couldn’t get the knack of it.

My voice was always too crisp, too clear, to sound like the grungy idols that formed the retro soundtrack of my youth.

But as frustrating as it was, any time I got close I felt it was just around the corner.

One more go.

One more.

Eventually, I had to make choices. Because there isn’t an infinite amount of time, even when you’re single.

Especially when you’re single.

And I chose another love that could work around my chaotic professional schedule:

Writing.

Feeling lost let me find myself

If you’d told me a couple of years ago that I needed to feel lost to find myself I’d have probably laughed at you awkwardly and left stage right.

I’m aware that it does sound, at first blush, like you’ve encountered the only sober hippie at Burning Man.

But stick with me a second.

When you’re feeling lost, when you’ve got that sense that the world is strange and you’re just existing within it.

There’s an odd sort of clarity.

Because you’re no longer in the state of habit in which you spend the vast majority of your time.

You know, as well as I do, how repeating a task you’ve done a thousand times puts you in the zone.

What you’ve been practicing, without knowing it, is a skill that sharpens in the background.

A thought so small that you never know it’s there, until it hits you all at once:

Is this it?

And I’m delighted to tell you: no.

It’s most definitely not.

You might feel frightened by such a thought.

It is, after all, pretty confronting.

But so is the first day of any new life.

What you’re feeling, when you have that moment, is the terrible and awesome weight of possibility.

Possibility, that’s entirely yours to waste.

Or not.

What to do when life feels empty

When you’re younger, just picking something up for the first time, there’s an allowance you give yourself.

Permission to be shit.

And when you lose that, when you fight it because you got good at other things and you’re a little embarrassed about starting out from scratch, it becomes a prison.

The ease has robbed the reward of its sweetness.

Ironic, I know, but it’s precisely the fact that you can plausibly screw up that makes winning exciting in the first place.

Who wants to play when they always win?

The most boring people at parties.

I don’t think you want to be like them.

Do you?

Somebody that you used to know

Listen to me: you’re not alone.

If you feel numb, if you’re exhausted and frustrated and you just want a break for a bit, I get that.

But the key thing to remember here is it has to be just that: a bit.

You don’t have to be perfect.

You don’t even have to be good.

But you do have to make yourself a little uncomfortable to get the challenge back.

There’s an endlessly curious, playful soul inside you just waiting for the starting chord.

So start.

I can’t wait to hear the richness of your song.

Warmest regards

Your author

Stuart Found