I think the thing I've found most helpful is to not make it a pass/fail grade, but something where every moment is its own opportunity 💛 I also imagine myself starting to say it, which usually helps me feel like I've already spoken up so might as well see it through to the end 😅 sometimes all we need is a little nudge, if we build it up to something intimidating then you never start - don't know if that's helpful ✨ What's your accountability partner Frank?
That sounds like a great initiative Frank, it's something that all writers I've spoken with struggle to overcome - nothing like the power of habit to get you through a difficult spot in a manuscript!
Thanks Moll ✨ it was an emotional one to write for sure, I'm so pleased it spoke to you ☺️ were there any highlights that resonated with you in particular?
The overall feeling is one that gets most of us in the regrets, I think! At least when you’ve lived long enough to lose something or someone you care about. And then there was an extra twist, with the idea that men are not “allowed” to share those moments - very unfair!
It's often a self imposed prison, borne out of what's been modelled for us by our elders who were also struggling to cope, and yet didn't have the language or the space to describe it - that's why I found my grandad so inspiring in a way, because he very much bucked that trend despite coming from a very different generation - and it's why, if I can, I want to carry that example forward in whatever modest means I have 🙏 the truth is, we all have a role to play in creating space for people which is why I was so touched you shared this with your network ✨ together we can achieve incredible things
So true! Did you see the post, years ago now, by Caitlin Moran, when she asked men about their feelings and was just deluged by responses? Including one guy who had bought his grandad sunflowers, for the first time ever, having been inspired by something she’d written to show his feelings. His grandad was in his 80s or older, and he apparently cried, because despite everyone knowing he loved flowers, no-one had ever bought him any before, because you don’t buy men flowers. So many tiny tragedies from this stupid rule about men not being allowed to show their softer side.
That captures the point beautifully, I hadn't heard that story before but it's totally consistent with the tragedy of unquestioningly meeting expectations 💛 I'm so glad that man found the courage to do that for his grandfather 🙏 of course, we can never get the time back that's been spent, but it's good that we're having these conversations now, so that we can give encouragement to future generations through our example ✨
Thanks Isabella, always a fan of your Monday Motivations and really pleased that this connected with you 🙏 was there anything in particular that stood out to you?
No worries at all, I'm delighted you replied and very touched by your kind words! 💛 Here's hoping I can keep it up 🤞 and if there's anyone that you think could benefit from reading this, please don't hesitate to share - appreciate you getting in touch! ☺️
Thanks for this Cheska, it was helpful getting these feelings down on paper ✨ it's certainly been my initial experience of it, hopefully the sentiment resonates enough to be useful for others 🙏
I relate to holding back my appreciation for fear of the moment feeling awkward.
Using "My Accountability Partner" helped me build a consistent habit of expressing gratitude and sharing value every day.
How do you create space to say what truly matters before it’s too late?
I think the thing I've found most helpful is to not make it a pass/fail grade, but something where every moment is its own opportunity 💛 I also imagine myself starting to say it, which usually helps me feel like I've already spoken up so might as well see it through to the end 😅 sometimes all we need is a little nudge, if we build it up to something intimidating then you never start - don't know if that's helpful ✨ What's your accountability partner Frank?
You're right Stuart
Sometimes, all we need is a little pressure
"My Accountability Partner" is a system that help writers build consistency and show up on days when it makes no sense to keep writing
That sounds like a great initiative Frank, it's something that all writers I've spoken with struggle to overcome - nothing like the power of habit to get you through a difficult spot in a manuscript!
Yes Stuart
I’d have crumbled without a system
This damned near made me cry.
Shout it, shout if from the rooftops!
Thanks Moll ✨ it was an emotional one to write for sure, I'm so pleased it spoke to you ☺️ were there any highlights that resonated with you in particular?
The overall feeling is one that gets most of us in the regrets, I think! At least when you’ve lived long enough to lose something or someone you care about. And then there was an extra twist, with the idea that men are not “allowed” to share those moments - very unfair!
It's often a self imposed prison, borne out of what's been modelled for us by our elders who were also struggling to cope, and yet didn't have the language or the space to describe it - that's why I found my grandad so inspiring in a way, because he very much bucked that trend despite coming from a very different generation - and it's why, if I can, I want to carry that example forward in whatever modest means I have 🙏 the truth is, we all have a role to play in creating space for people which is why I was so touched you shared this with your network ✨ together we can achieve incredible things
So true! Did you see the post, years ago now, by Caitlin Moran, when she asked men about their feelings and was just deluged by responses? Including one guy who had bought his grandad sunflowers, for the first time ever, having been inspired by something she’d written to show his feelings. His grandad was in his 80s or older, and he apparently cried, because despite everyone knowing he loved flowers, no-one had ever bought him any before, because you don’t buy men flowers. So many tiny tragedies from this stupid rule about men not being allowed to show their softer side.
That captures the point beautifully, I hadn't heard that story before but it's totally consistent with the tragedy of unquestioningly meeting expectations 💛 I'm so glad that man found the courage to do that for his grandfather 🙏 of course, we can never get the time back that's been spent, but it's good that we're having these conversations now, so that we can give encouragement to future generations through our example ✨
Yes! Changing behaviours and freeing up hearts a little bit every day!
This is beautiful. A touch of humanness we all experience, so clearly expressed. Thanks, Stuart!
Thanks Isabella, always a fan of your Monday Motivations and really pleased that this connected with you 🙏 was there anything in particular that stood out to you?
It’s your expression of humanness. Nothing fabricated. Only the real stuff that we all experience. (I didn’t see your question until just now. 😉)
Just saw your restack, thank you so much!
No worries at all, I'm delighted you replied and very touched by your kind words! 💛 Here's hoping I can keep it up 🤞 and if there's anyone that you think could benefit from reading this, please don't hesitate to share - appreciate you getting in touch! ☺️
A wonderful, heartfelt letter. The passing of grandparents is a painful experience, for many it's what teaches them how to deal with grief ❤️
Thanks for this Cheska, it was helpful getting these feelings down on paper ✨ it's certainly been my initial experience of it, hopefully the sentiment resonates enough to be useful for others 🙏
P.S. The song was 'You'll Never Walk Alone' in case you were wondering. What music brings a tear to your eye?