Special Dispatch - Barcelona: The hostel mindset you’re missing

Forget hustle. You can live better in simpler, transformative ways

Disclaimer: This article is produced for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for the help of a licensed mental health professional or therapist.

This dispatch is part of a special, limited series about connections beyond borders.

‘You’re about to say something that’s going to change my life, aren’t you?’

I looked at him.

This stranger, but for a minute’s discussion.

‘What makes you say that?’ I asked.

‘Just a feeling.’

The music thudded in our ears, the lasers and pyrotechnics blazed with the beat. The heat of the Iberian sun had long been supplanted by a thousand pairs of dancing feet.

The two of us ignored it all, as a smile apiece curved our lips.

And I told him.

It wasn’t always like this

If this had been my only experience meeting strangers in my short time in Barcelona, I may have drawn different conclusions.

But it wasn’t.

‘You can go anywhere here, anywhere you want,’ the server said, enthusiastically. ‘Nobody owns this. This space is for everybody. It’s for you to feel comfortable.’

I’d taken a recommendation from a colleague to visit the Font del Gat, after sharing my plans to get in some quiet writing time during the day.

The shame you carry isn’t yours

But I felt a spike of fear.

I’d arrived early.

Too early.

Just as the place opened, in fact.

How was I going to write anything valuable for you, my readers, with no one to speak to?

Only a handful of others occupied a table on the far side of the garden.

But there was space for conversation.

‘You seem really proud,’ I said.

‘I am, very. Very proud,’ the server said, gesturing at the lights and tented canopies they’d built.

He was beaming.

‘Set up wherever you want and call me over if you have need.’

As I ordered an unfamiliar beer and sat writing, I observed the place slowly fill up.

And yet, the volume never stirred beyond a murmur. Warm greetings hung in the air, gentle as a dragonfly.

When I finished, I took my empty glasses of tap water and beer to the bar inside.

Thanks were offered in fluent Spanish, and I chose not to disabuse them of the notion.

And in this tiny moment is everything we’ve been missing all along.

There’s something they don’t tell you about travel

You think, when you book it, it’s all about that cold beer by the pool.

And while that’s valuable, there’s only so much restoration the body can take.

There’s far greater value just beneath the surface.

And it’s the aid for the connection we crave.

You see:

When we escape our routine, there’s the opportunity for increased growth, because everything and nothing is strange all at once.

Let me explain.

You wouldn’t dare try this at home… until now

You’re in an environment where much of what you see is totally new to other people around you.

The fact that it’s weird levels the playing field.

That’s why I could have that conversation with a perfect stranger, and talk about the depth of the challenge he’s facing in his life right now.

But that experience is only part of the equation, isn’t it?

Because you need a guide to encourage those first sparks of conversation.

It’s impossible to underestimate the value of being made welcome, like the server did for me on my arrival.

Hostels understand this.

The hostel mindset: why they inspire connection

The short answer is: they have to. Their business model depends on more than a bunk and a place to charge your phone.

It’s essential that they make the best use of the snippets of time each guest has as they move across the European continent.

And so, they do what we discuss a lot in the Never Lost community.

They go first.

Notice boards, events, recommendations, tours, and yes (you guessed it) a bar if they can.

They don’t expect their guests to come up with all of this for themselves. They don’t need to. As long as a conversation begins, they’ve won.

From what I can make out, there are three main ways that hostels create community fast.

And each is possible for you to take home.

If you’re brave enough.

Three rules to live your life like a thriving hostel

1. It’s not forever

Everything is temporary. If you didn’t feel like everything you said would be written in ink, what would you say? How would you prioritise your time if it felt finite? Because it is.

2. Leave when you need

This is one I struggle with, but the reason experiences are valuable is because they exist for a moment in time. When you get the sense that it’s time to move on, heed that calling. You may be missing the next adventure around the corner by exhausting this one.

3. Shared space without ownership

When you refuse to isolate yourself, your discomfort can force you to strike up a conversation. And that’s where the real magic begins.

Which of these feels hardest to you right now? Share your thoughts in the comments, I read them all

Connection isn’t a chore, but it is a challenge

Look, I’ll be straight with you.

I can’t guarantee that you’ll suddenly expand your friendships.

Certainly not overnight.

And it’s important to remember that it was easier for me, far from home, to apply this framework to my conversations on the Iberian peninsula.

But I also know that I feel more confident now, and that has to be shared with you.

Not just with reaching people. But in making others feel welcome, right as they enter my orbit.

We all have the power to expand our social circles with simple, if challenging, shifts in our habits.

As for whether or not I did change the stranger’s life? That remains to be seen.

In truth, it’s not for any of us to change each other.

But I think it is incumbent on us to guide one another to the door.

Perhaps the greatest adventures of our lives await inside.

Warmest regards

Your author

Stuart Found

P.S. When was the last time you struck up a conversation with a stranger on your travels? Where was the best hostel you stayed, and what about the experience stood out to you? How will you help others feel welcome in your orbit?