Special Dispatch - Lanzarote: Cultivate inevitability

You’re making it harder by fighting too hard.

Disclaimer: This article is produced for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for the help of a licensed mental health professional or therapist.

This dispatch is part of a special, limited series about connections beyond borders.

As I hung up the phone, I slid the glass door to the side.

Stood on the balcony, overlooking the marina.

For a moment, I wanted to vanish.

I’d failed.

At least, I thought I had.

Until the hours began to pass, and I noticed things about the conversation.

By the following morning, I knew it was okay.

You could say it was inevitable I’d feel better in time.

But it’s taken effort to get here.

Let me show you.

The cult of inevitability

We’ve all heard the cliche.

Some people have all the luck.

And true, there are plenty of people born into privilege who have a pretty easy time of it.

At least, in comparison with the rest of us.

But there’s an energy that seems to circle those people.

An aura that’s magnetic and irresistible.

A certain calm that comes from the assurance it’ll all work out alright.

That calm often gives others permission to feel the same.

Which in turn, makes them even more attractive.

It’s a positive feedback loop.

And not as innate as the beneficiaries of this attitude may want you to think.

The easiest way to prove it, is to take you away from home.

And show you the version of yourself you become when you step across the border.

Beyond the horizon

Travel can be a healing experience.

Especially when you go alone.

Separated from the daily responsibilities of everyday life, it’s easier to see the person you’ve been all this time.

Like a fantasy world, the texture and surroundings are just strange enough to see the oddities more clearly.

When time slows, you get a sense of how little rushing adds.

The diminishing value of efficiency over all.

In the pauses, you can take a moment to choose differently.

For me, that looked like deciding that living my dreams was inevitable.

Which is where I made my crucial ‘mistake’.

Preparing to fail

You see, my time away wasn’t all long walks and cocktails on the beach.

I had an important call.

One discussing my manuscript.

And, with so much relaxation, and my new ethos, I made the choice not to frantically prepare, but to experience it on its own terms.

‘Do you have any questions for me?’ She asked.

I did. She answered.

When she asked me again, the other questions I’d written down weeks before escaped me.

And so, when I was wished the best of luck with the project, I started kicking myself.

Immediately all of the best ones flooded back.

‘How would you pitch it?’

‘What would make you hesitate in pitching this to a publisher?’

‘Is there anything my query letter is missing?’

But then I started to remember the promise I’d made to myself.

A few other details of what was actually said came back to me too:

‘The writing is good.’

‘There’s always demand for novels like this.’

‘You know how to tell a story.’

Perhaps, rather than a failed attempt, this was the most important waypoint on my journey I’ve had for a while.

What I needed to learn wasn’t how to bend fate to my whim.

But how to calibrate my efforts, so that the inevitable has room to occur.

The former will make you apply too much force, and snap opportunities in two.

The latter has the intoxicating aura of the preordained.

Move forwards and don’t look back

I don’t think it’s realistic to expect you’ll always get it right.

In truth, I was cursing myself for several hours until I’d had a decent glass of sangria and a good night’s sleep.

But there’s always value in recalibrating.

Especially when you’re done waiting for things to fall out of the sky.

So, take your fate in your hands by all means.

Move forwards and assign your ‘failures’ their educational credentials.

What’s right for you is just around that corner.

Not to be seized.

But cultivated.

Warmest regards

Your author

Stuart Found