Special Dispatch - Brussels: Handle anger like a legend
Fire can clear the road, or destroy everything in its path. You choose.
Disclaimer: This article is produced for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for the help of a licensed mental health professional or therapist.
I should have known better.
And I did.
But so did he.
And when I left the takeaway with a burnt, barely edible wrap, having shucked out a fortune after a long day on my feet, well…
I wasn’t in my most charitable mood, let’s put it that way.
Every second in the aftermath of this petty drama became a new justification.
Oh, now what?
Until I was sitting in a restaurant, furious that I was hungry, and unable to properly concentrate on the menu.
My behaviour was, quite understandably, infuriating my wife.
Which was when I put the menu down, took a breath, and knew it was time to talk.
Because anger has a lot to answer for, doesn’t it?
Fury is the mind killer
It’s impossible to think of anything else when red hot injustice pokes you in the face.
And that’s not your fault.
Here’s why:
Anger usually arises from unfairness, real or imagined.
As such, it has a nasty habit of occurring right after you’ve uncovered something foul.
Why wouldn’t you trust an emotion that’s determined to protect you?
That’s why it’s addictive.
Not because it’s the truth.
But because we felt betrayed, and believe we won’t betray ourselves.
Which is, I’m afraid to say, a bit ironic at best.
At worst?
Stop spiting yourself
If you’re not careful, a tiny act of selfishness from a stranger can escalate well past the moment you’ll say something you regret to a person you love.
Because we have all been there.
Anger can cost you years of peace, if you let it behave how it wants.
So, how do we stop the spiral?
You put it in a timeout.
Three tricks to handle your anger like a legend
The point here is not to say that you should repress anger.
Feelings exist for a reason.
Especially the ones we don’t like.
But there are ways I’ve found to keep rage from ruining my day.
1. Call it names
Even the act of recognising it puts you more in control, because now you’re a person that’s choosing to react, not a helpless bystander.
2. This isn’t like you
Think about a person that respects you, and what they’d say about your response to the setback if they were a total stranger.
3. Admit to it
There’s probably something you could have handled better, and focusing on the future puts current drama into unflattering context.
Of course, all this on its own is not going to fix the fundamentals of your situation.
When the anger subsides you’ll still be hungry, embarrassed, maybe a little short come pay day.
But if you’re not blowing up your relationships whenever life happens, you’re holding onto what counts.
The real antidote to anger
A day before this, I was sitting by the canals of Amsterdam, enjoying a local beer picked out for me by an expert.
‘You have to try this,’ he said, handing me a tiny goblet of clear liquid. ‘It’s on the house.’
The ancient precursor to gin, sipped with beer to cleanse the pallet and enhance the taste.
Days later I caught myself fuming over a bad takeaway.
A scam, sure, but one I was going to let make me this angry?
Petulant?
I thought back to waiter that beamed as I asked about his passion.
What he’d make of such a fuss.
Yes, I should have known better.
And I will, next time.
For now, suffice to say that the knowledge of the choice is enough.
Because it almost always is.
Warmest regards
Your author
Stuart Found
P.S. What would a better response to anger mean for you?
LOVE THIS! Well said!!!
P.S. What would a better response to anger mean for you?