Nobody cares about everything. Choose wisely

Focus on your values to unblock paralysis

Disclaimer: This article is produced for entertainment and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for the help of a licensed mental health professional or therapist.

If you, or anyone you know, is struggling, seek help immediately from the Samaritans or local emergency services.

We were talking about my novel.

‘I’ve been guilty of that,’ my friend admitted. ‘The bystander effect.’

‘So let’s change it,’ I said.

I asked him a question.

And in less than five minutes, something had switched.

That’s why I wanted to share the same question with you.

Because clarity waits on the other side.

Let me show you.

Despair is useful, just not for you

It’s a mess out there, isn’t it?

World is on fire, often literally.

Some journalists say it’s because we don’t care enough.

Honestly?

I think that’s bullshit.

Because it lets those responsible off the hook.

You’re forgiving the wrong people

Whose fault is it, anyway?

You care.

I know you do.

More, perhaps, than you ever thought possible.

But there were always going to be limits.

And a group of charlatans have created a lucrative market for getting you riled up.

These people don’t admit that they’re ragebaiting you.

Instead they push a narrative about fairness.

It’s a crafty sleight of hand.

And it works precisely because you care in the first place.

The outrage!

You must agree.

You must.

You must.

And on it goes.

Until you’re exhausted.

And less likely to resist when the mask comes off and the purge begins.

You don’t agree with that.

But you’re on their team, now.

And what can you do about it?

You’re just one person.

Someone else will speak up.

Won’t they?

There has to be a better way.

And thankfully, there is.

Who are you, really?

We all value different things.

That difference is our strength.

And it means you have something unique to offer when building the world you want.

That’s why I did the following, and recommend you do it too:

Figure out the elements of your character that are sacred to you.

And you can pinpoint what you’re best placed to change.

Suddenly the urgency bad faith actors rely upon to recruit you feels a lot less pressing.

Your individuality becomes a cause for celebration.

Not a vulnerability for others to exploit.

And you’re much better placed to resist the seductive narratives.

The ones that seem simple on the surface…

But have you defending some pretty awful shit in record time.

The smallest way to stand it

So, how does this link back to the question I asked my friend at the pub?

It was this:

‘What’s the smallest way you feel you can take action?’

‘Make a donation, I guess.’

‘Okay,’ I said. ‘Phone out then.’

‘Now?’

‘Yes, Will,’ I said. ‘Now. Let’s make it two quid. Fraction of the round we just bought. I’ll send you the link, if you need it.’

When it was done, I asked him how it felt.

He paused, smiled.

‘Like I did something.’

Reclaiming your kingdom

There’s a myth that actions have to be mighty to be significant.

Small acts of courage don’t shift newspapers.

But a thousand tiny actions raise a tide.

We’re a storytelling species, so it’s natural that grand narratives of struggle, icons, heroes and villains, ignite our imagination.

But that neglects the greater truth.

That there are more of us:

Caring, decent, hard-working and honest people, than the alternative would dare let us believe.

Because there always will be.

They need you to doubt your virtue, because it gives them permission to have none.

So don’t give them permission.

Not in your specialism.

Not in this timeline.

Not on your watch.

We choose what we value.

And I don’t just know, but I believe.

Your grandkids will value your choice.

Warmest regards

Your author

Stuart Found